Friday, October 31, 2008

Take the long road.

Just letting you know that _____ isn't coming to your birthday party because he's going to ______'s gig and before that he's staying at mineeee!
Get your own boyfriend!"

Oh wow, you're so mature :3


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

You're so post-modern.

His slightly disheveled hair rest upon his face.
A cigarette lay entwined in his fingers.
Where was he. This setting was unfamiliar to a boy with dreams.
A ghost, pale-faced with a hint of freckles, is sat to his right.
The boy takes a drag from his smoke. Inhale, exhale.
With this, he turns to face the ghost and takes her in.
Her eyes, the colour of the sea, stare through his fragile mind.

Where was he when she needed him the most.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It's Just Me.

It's really nice to do something different. I haven't had a Monday afternoon off for a long time. And although it was a little annoying that Elisha wouldn't come to the post office at Kelvin Grove QUT with me, I took the time to walk to the one in Oxley near Foodworks to post my letter to my Nanna. As I walked past the Indian dress store, my phone recieved a text message. Being curious and antsy to see who would be texting me I find out that Brent had seen me walk busily across the street in the direction of the store as he was sitting at the train station. Without hesitation I walked back and had a chat with him after visiting the post box :3
I haven't seen that boy in a long time and so I had no idea what to say because I'm bad at unplanned conversation, but it was sweet. He has a new tattoo on his arm which looks fair cool. I didn't manage to get a proper look at it though, maybe next time :)

Pretty bummed that not everyone has RSVP'ed to my party. It's pretty lazy.

Artist of the day, Francis Bacon. His work reminds me of Alex Pardee's creations, and I'm thinking that Bacon may have been an influence on Pardee. The image below is "Three Studies for Figures at the Base of Crucifixion" from 1944.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

There'd be no other way.

So I've spent the past hour or so listening to an interview between Justin and Mike from Motion City Soundtrack and some guy from AP. Turns out they're really down to Earth. I mean, everyone in some way is down to Earth I suppose, but when you hear their story, especially through a podcast where you don't get to see them physically it's like you know them pretty well.

Speaking of knowing someone pretty well..
I wish I knew Bradie better :3
Apparently we're going to catch up when he's back in Brisbane
Which pretty much means I have to get a ticket to The V's.
But it's going to be on the 14th of February
aka Valentine's Day
Which will be super sweet.
I love the fact that he knows who I am.

I'm cleaning my room and I managed to scratch the skin off my knuckles on my right hand when searching under my bed for an old AP magazine with Tegan and Sara on the cover (#236.2).

The shift key on my laptop isn't working properly.

Let's get fucked up and die. I'm speaking figuratively, of course. Like the last time that I committed suicide, Social suicide. Yeah so I'm already dead, on the inside, But I can still pretend. With my memories and photographs, I've learned to love the lie.
I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah. Let me in, Let me in to the club. Cause I wanna belong, And I need to get strong. And if memory serves. I'm addicted to words and they're useless.
Let's get fucked up and die. I'm riding hard on the last lines of every lie. And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode, I'm about to explode. I'm a mess, I'm a wreck. I am perfect and I have learned to accept: All my problems and short comings, Cause I am so visceral yet deeply inept.
I want to thank you for being a part of my Forget-Me-Nots and Marigolds, And all the things that don't get old. Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know. It's the only way I have learned to express myself. Through other peoples' descriptions of life. I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless.
Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling, We'll try not to smile. As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the night, That’s no shock and surprise. I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end. But I choose to abuse for the time being. Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die.
Sister Soldier you’ve been such a positive influence on my mental frame. If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash, And my memory lacks initiative. Goddamn the liquor store's closed. We're so close to scoring. It hurts, it destroys, 'till it kills. I am tired and hungry and totally useless.


7 days, 20 hours until my birthday.

I feel old already.
I wish I was turning 17 though.

So I bought my outfit for my party yesterday.
Vinyl-look pants/tights.
Zebra print singlet *it's long*.
And that's about it haha.
I think I'm going to wear my boots with it.
My big pirate/hooker ones :3

I was practicing make-up for it too.
Here's the results:

Plus I was being a bit of a scene-y aha ;3


November is seriously going to be the best month ever.
1 - Birthday Party
1 - SS Competition Winner Announced *fingers crossed*
2 - Jake Wood at The Hive
2 - Screech and False Start at The Valley Studios
3 - My Birthday :3
4 - Dad's Birthday
14 - Delamare, Hey Carlisle at The Princess
21 - Stealing O'Neal at The Hive
21 - (maybe) Halifax at The Arena
23 - Semi Formal
23 - Amber's 18th!
28 - End of Term
28 - Amber Calling at The Hive :3
29 - Amber Calling at The Brave :3

Pretty excited, minus the fact we also have exams in November!


I wish I was 18 so I could have seen The Mission in Motion last night!

I think that's enough.
You've got everything you need.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Let's get lost tonight.

One birthday wish.
A phone call from Bradie Webb.
That would be amazing :3
Can someone please see if he will do it? He knows me.. maybe he will.

A band you should really check out:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Take Me Away

I think I'm going to be sick.
I hate this feeling.


I'm so tired of being me.
I'm so tired of being me.
I'm so tired of being me.
I'm so tired of being me.

I wish I was fake.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I Won't See You Tonight

Friday the 17th of October.
So it was a bit of a drag having to go to school in the morning, however mum let me leave at 11 rather than 11.10 so I could slip away without any one stopping me haha, and so I met Bree at Roma St Station around 11.20 where this guy that I've met before called Brandon was there.. I can't remember where we've met before but we re-introduced ourselves and then he introduced me to his brother (I think? I don't care really, he was hot though!!) and his girlfriend. Anyway, we reached Oxley eventually and it took us an hour or an hour and a half to finally get ready and caught a train to Roma St and changed trains to the Shorncliffe train. So basically we decided that rather than going to line up straight away we'd go check out the back to see if anything exciting was happening, turns out Tenille and Melissa were there so we stood with them for a bit until they figured they'd been away from the line where their friend was waiting for longer than what they had planned.
About 30 minutes passed with a number of decoy cars/vans without bands in them when all of a sudden one comes down the driveway, Bree decides that she doesn't believe it will be them and I keep my hopes up. Suddenly, as the van comes into view, here's Seb and Jeff waving at us with big smiles :D David was too jetlag, facing forward with his aviators on. Squeals and a call to Tenille happens and we start to get more excited than previous.
So there were three/four girls that had been waiting there since like, 9am, for Short Stack and so when they drove in they went crazy haha.. one of them, Shakira, climbed a tree so she could wave to them again when they got out of the van and so they came back out a few minutes after taking their stuff inside. I had no idea what to do when they came out haha, cause they went over the fanatics XD
After a minute of Bradie and I kind of glancing at each other, I walked over, slid my arm around his waist and gave him a cuddle HAHAA. Uhhh, ok that was sooo lame of me haha.. So anyway he knew who I was and we stepped out of the group and talked about stuff :)
Ok I have no idea what to write.. cause it was all amazing.
Bree and I hung around until about midnight and climbed in a tree to wave to simple plan. We tried waving at TGP but they're shit with fans so they looked at us and turned their heads. Yeh that get no kudos now.

Bree slept over mine.
Escape The Fate cd came into JB HIFI, couldn't pick it up at the time :O

Then during Saturday; mum, A Georgie, U William and myself went to my academy to watch You're The Voice. It was pretty good. Pretty high-schoolish but it was fun. Then I got to take the family around the academy using Mackey's swipe card - which I almost dropped down the elevator shaft by total accident D:

Went home.

more to come!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect.

Bradie is amazing.
More on what happened on Friday the 17th of October will be said later
For now I'm just kind of down for Simple Plan playing Save Me at their
show tonight, which is a song about Pierre's brother. Basically that's
the song I listen to when I'm really down about my sister and we
(father, bree and I) had to pick her up just then and I almost started
crying cause she can be a shit person sometimes..

Ugh, fuck it.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I will stand my ground until the end.

I'm sick and tired of being last priority to my mother. Don't tell me
she cares because I know she does, but when her other daughter is sick
in bed because she had one too many nights out on the weekend and her
husband can't be fucked waking me up so that I actually make it to
school you'd think she'd want to actually invest her time in someone
like me who actually plans to make a living one day. Oh wait, I don't
want to be doing that around her, no not if she plans to continue to
make me her last priority.

Friday is looking real good.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Watch them fall, thick as thieves.

New shirt from City Beach :) Bought it for Friday!! The size ten fitted the best except my booooobiez are too big for it so I have to have it with one button open (which happened to already be quite low)..
The size 12 however made me look like I was boobless and wasn't fitted at all hahaha..

Haha, Bree and I are obsessing over David Desrosiers and making plans on how to get backstage :D

Thanks Elisha for coming shopping!!!!
x me

Monday, October 13, 2008

Blatant Mistakes Of Your Design

I need to do a few things before Friday..
1. Get my haircut :)

2. Buy a new shirt for the gig
- I'm thinking Hopscotch or General Pants Co, depends on what I can find
3. Talk to Bradie some more :)

4. Convince mother
- to let me have the day off on Friday

In between all of this I have to make sure I can figure out what I would like to do in Visual Art for the next year and make plans for 18 pieces of art as well as remembering to visit the Guidance Counciller about QUT Start Programs and maybe talk about the internship at AP (posted in a previous post). Oh and I work on Thursday.

x me

Memory Lane.

I remember this song used to get me through year 9..

Mike and Dave singing "Whatever Makes You Happy"

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Pay some attention.

Just like a lady in a blue dress, you've got cigarettes on your breath, hair spray and some cheap perfume. I'll put a little sour in your sweet. You've got so much fucking tounge in cheek. You want what you can never have. You say that you want respect - well then you better get some for yourself cause all that I see right now is someone who's lost and insecure. So you say that i am rated x - you suffer from the lack of sex, black heart and your lipstick smeared. Your points are trite and i'm too sober to deal with you running over your same pathetic cliche' lines. Don't try to be cute with me cause i know you hate yourself and you'd end your stupid life now but you're too spineless.
Just like a lady in a blue dress, you've got cigarettes on your breath, hair spray and some cheap perfume.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I keep forgetting.

Come visit me soon baby.

But I'm not sleeping, you're not here.

Friday, October 10, 2008

One kiss before angels fall.

I feel ill. At work this evening we ordered pizza. Specifically Margerita (vegetarian) and Supreme. They gave us a Supreme and a Super Supreme. I figured, yeah ok, I can deal with this. So I did. I picked all of the pepperoni and bacon off until basically it was cheese, capsicum and olives.. soon my mouth tasted like blood. This is what would happen back in my meat-eating days if I ate pepperoni or bacon. So I stopped eating. And this I feel ill because now I don't want to eat for a while so that I can just get rid of this awful feeling :(

School was boring.

Father woke me up at 6.20am this morning. I specifically said to everyone in my household not to wake me up until at least 7am. Wasn't happy. But it turns out my sister was in hospital because she had an allergic reaction to tomato which has been building up over the past few weeks. I didn't believe my father at first but why else would he wake me up at 6.20am. He needed me to get ready so that he could make sure I got out of the house (if he didn't.. there would have been no me at school today haha). So for the kids that noticed that I was a tad more distant than usual, that's probably why. Plus I was a little bummed that I wasn't going to the dance with everyone :(

Tomorrow night some people are going to Wagamama in The Valley for Maddie's birthday. Shall be pretty enjoyable because we haven't celebrated her 16th yet! I'm not sure what to wear, I'm thinking a nice top with my new-er pair of skinnys, maybe some boots but I don't want to look like a hooker or be too tall. Infact, speaking of height, I am "officially" 173cm. I say "officially" because we had to be measured in math class today for some data collection for an example. Apparently that's like, 7cm off from being 6ft which is pretty scary for some reason haha.

Matt isn't online. And he isn't replying to my texts D: I hope he's alright..

One week and I'll be in the mosh again :)

Hold me close and I'll turn off the lights.

It's hard to define.

When does it become apparent that you are in love? I suppose it is different for everyone, but that's just a lame excuse for 'let's not talk about it because it's such an overused topic'. But it's even more confusing when you barely know someone and yet you can think about them all of the time.

love |ləv|
- an intense feeling of deep affection

It feels as though I like this person so much that it's bringing me down.. Lame, I know, but it's hard to not feel this way. I just wish it was so much easier to tell him.. And no, I won't say who this is, so feel free to guess but it's probably the most obvious of all and my latest crush. OH! And yes, it is lame to like this person this much as there's more than likely no chance of us being together.

I need to purchase an iTunes card to enter a competition to win a day with Short Stack. Supposedly they want the entrants to write a Haiku so I'm going to have to work on that haha..

Their noise pollution is a one night stand.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Princess, why you so contageous?

this week has gone by relatively quickly. seven weeks to go until it's over for eight weeks. it's a bit of a worry that it's such a short term in that my year level is supposed to make a lot of big decisions. i'm stuck on what i want to do after school..
i'd love to do an internship at alernative press. dream job much!

well, it's eight sleeps until i see short stack, the getaway plan and simple plan. i've seen each of the bands before (once each for short stack and simple plan and three times for the getaway plan) but it should be amazing to see them play together. i don't know what time to line up.. mother says i can't have the day off but we'll see about that haha. bree's planning on having the day off and being there early so i might see if she's willing to be there by herself for a while until say midday.. i'll have to organise it!

saturday i'm hopefully going shopping for a new shirt to wear at the concert and in the evening the group is going to wagamama's in the valley for dinner to celebrate a belated birthday for maddie. sunday i might go to the coast with the parents to see my family from adelaide before they go back seeing as i didn't get to really spend that much time with them last time.

birthday soon. three weeks on monday. i really want an ipod.. one of the new ones. i'm thinking yellow or red because they look fair nice. i don't think i'll be getting one though because i still owe mother for my $1600 camera.. only have half to pay off though haha.

it seemed like such an easy plan.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Our work makes pretty little homes.

Sway sway baby BRADIE, you're so audio
Kill your boygirlfriend, we could be together
Sway sway baby BRADIE tonight, maybe tonight
You'll write back to my letters

Birthday Plans

So the people invited to my party, just know that the theme GlamourKills doesn't mean dead movie stars!

I'm writing lyris to try put my feelings into words.. we'll see how it goes!!

If only you could see me, we'd dance like a heart attack.


Some private school girls on my train this morning are pathetic. It's
like lets make noise for attention to be given by tired business people
who do not want to be putting up with their shit. Except sadly that's
not their moral. They're fat and throwing around a chocolate box.. uhm
and you wonder why you're single?

Today I am tired and not wanting to put up with people.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I never thought it could feel this way

I've never felt this lonely in my whole life. Friendships are falling,
lovers seeem further away than ever and I can't seem to adjust anything
that's going on.

Friday the 3rd of October, I met the guy of my dreams.