We've got ten more miles to go before your lungs collapse..
Thank-you firstly to Nat, Josh, Rowan, Cameron and Brenton for coming last night. Super happy that they came seeing as the turn out was poor as it was.. but seriously. Wow. I'm like, a proud parent seeing their child grow up. Amber Calling are honestly full of talent and are such an amazing group of guys. I can't wait to one day see them in their home city of Adelaide. I've known these guys for pretty much three years now and from being a four-piece punk-rock band called 919 to expanding into the six-piece pop-rock-semiheavy-electro band as they are today is just such an amazing feeling and I just... ahhh I should stop going on about them haha. Please, check them out and make sure you're their next time because they deserve everyone's attention. http://www.myspace.com/ambercalling
Don't say you didn't know because I've been advertising this for more than a month.
I think I'm feeling like this is because I hate the idea of letting go and I know tonight when it comes to the departure it will pain me to say goodbye. I'm always so concerned about the way people will perceive me and that would be why I am often quiet and shy away.
I have realised that I am afraid of a lot of things.
I don't know who my friends are. Maybe if they were real friends they'd come out tonight to The Brave. I know that sounds so lame but seriously, last time Amber Calling were here Amber came with me even though I was supposedly celebrating my birthday.. Time before that Bree came with me. Time before that I took my sister. Last night Tenille and Emma were there. Not with me though.. And Tegan was there, but not with me. I mean, I loved the fact that I was with Bren when they were playing but I have no Bren tonight because he's drumming.. Seriously guys, it's one night.
So I should be waking up super happy.. I don't know why I wasn't. And still am not.
Yesterday: was nice. Went to school for like 5 minutes to pick up Maddie, Nat and my art journals (which made my bag heavy as >.>) and then went to Woolworths to see Damien for a few minutes where I got invited to his works Christmas party on the 13th of December. Went to the city with instruction from Dave to meet in Queen St. Finally found the guys who were complaining about how hot and humid it was.. it was like ahhh guys, there's no point in complaining *raises eyebrow*. So yeh, wow, Amber Calling (minus Alex), in Brisbane... still not really believing the fact that they are here because they're never here and they played at The Hive which I was at last week so it was kind of a normal night for me except for the fact that I was sitting in the middle of the room with Bren watching them play acoustically. Ok, so it will be heaps boring for you to read a detailed blog about what I did so I'll just do 'keywords' and hopefully you can get the picture. Walking. Slushies. Where's the aircon! Bren: I don't do stairs. Smoking. HSC. STD - Sauced Till Death. Invite to STD. Tattoo's. AC stands for analcunt Amber Calling. Tom's first tattoo. Tom: pale faced. Food. Sushi. Ryan tagging anything with STD. Tattoo cream from chemist. Paying out Mike. Ryan's glasses break. Me: They look like mine! Ryan tries to steal my glasses. Nope. Bren tries them. $43 for parking. Bren has to pay. Minus leg room. Next to Mike. Mike: I bet your mum loves you driving around with guys. Dave driving. Sexual jokes. Ryan: Oh we could totally do a bang gang type of thing with Rain. 5 guys, one girl. Or not haha. Illegal Parking on side of the road near airport. Stretching legs. Mike, Ryan and Dave attempting sleep. Huge mosquitos. Tom gets bitten by ant. 3pm, airport for Rob. Waiting. Kicking gatorade bottle. Dave snoring. Cheery Rob. Shit GPS. Attempting to get to Cambell's house. City instead. Myer parking. Ryan reversed cause he's good at it. Complaints from Bren. Settling in at The Hive. Bags down. Numerous smoke breaks. Dinner. I think I saw Timothy? Too shy to say hello. Hot water. Walking back. Tired. Hanging around. Hey Carlisle. Acoustic. Smiles from Davo. AC set up. Tegan says hi. Bren and I, middle of the room. Wow. Wow :). Mike, Dave, Tom and Ryan play. Great. Laughing with Bren. Photo's without flash. Disposable camera winding. Recording. Royal stuff up by Dave. Wouldn't mind staying here for a while. Moving to talk to Tegan. Complaining about school. Talking to Emma and Tenille. Phil joins in. Sitting with Dave. Tired. Secrets about the band. Click on Colour. Sweet music. Emma: Dave, you're taking this girl home. No train for me. Beer/food in the city. Van time. Everyone: BRENEHHH. Ryan: Rain, you must look like a slut to any outsider being in a van of 6 older guys. Me: stares at Ryan.. fo shiz. Obvious Humor. No man, that's Macca.. Being quiet. Boy band songs. Human Nature cover band? Round the corner from mine: Oh, right at the lights Rob! Mike mimics. Ha, shut up! Home. Ryan: Can I take a piss? Me: Just like last time XD Inside. Happy. Relief. Tired. Miami Ink. Bed.
Yeah I tried :)
So today I'm not sure what I'm going to get up to.. The guys play at The Brave tonight but I'm thinking of maybe going to see them beforehand so I can get some time with Alex as he arrived at like 8am this morning. I hope others will be at The Brave.. it will be a great night!
So I should be super happy right now. School's over for two months. There's a void though. I haven't pinpointed exactly what it is.. but it would probably have something to do with the fact that I like this guy and well turns out he likes me but well, likes a couple of other people.. I didn't have the guts to tell him that I had the same feelings, but hey whatever. I'm sure it will clear itself up..... right? Man up Rain! haha :3
Anyway, tomorrow is going to be pretty good. I'm so happy that Amber Calling are coming up for the weekend.. feels like forever. Plus I get to meet Tom and as a bonus Bren's going to be there :) Hopefully we can get lunch after they're done being 'awesome' with their radio interview and photographs..
So I potentially screwed things up between myself and one of my best guy friends over the past month.. It really didn't help that when I was off my face on Monday morning at like 4am I told him some things that maybe didn't need to be said. Thankfully he's such a nice guy that he doesn't want to throw our friendship away and so Lewis if you read this like I know you will, I'm sorry and thank you.
I got someones number today *blushes*.
I'm so confused at the moment. For one I am so glad that assessment is OVERRRR. Thank fuck. One more day of lame-ness and then that's it (well minus the 4 or more assignments/essays that I have to work on) for another two months. But yeh, there seems to be so much on my mind and I just can't get it out. I want to write it all but it doesn't come out right..
Semi today. Ahh.. No drinks cause my parents are being strict shits. But I can deal, because hopefully someone will have spares lol. I've been thinking about how much of a waste of money the whole thing is and I'm really hoping that my hair/makeup won't cost anything too much lol.. I think I might be wearing my new shoes.. cause I think I'll be wearing tights now cause mum's like OMG YOURE SO WHITE.. -_- she reckons I need a spray tan hahahaha XD
Turns out that my new polka-dot dress fits my sister. Which is like D: to me.. Mum and I thought it would be kind of cool to see what it looks like on her seeing as she's lost quite a bit of weight and turns out it fits her and looks really sweet and seeing as it's so hard to find stuff for her mum's like 'she can wear it too'. And while I don't mind this I'm freaking out because it was too big for me and if she continues to wear it, this means I can't get mum to take it in which means I'm forever going to have to pull it up. Fuck, I hate being upset about stupid things.. I just hope that Mr. Origliasso has a 10 or 8 at his store because that was a 12 and I know there was a smaller size but mum reckons it was an 8 but if my sister is a 14/16 then surely an 8 would fit me if that's all he has.. This sucks so much, I want to wear it next Friday or Saturday with my new shoes.
Thus far, since Friday afternoon there have been a number of disappointments and a number of highlights. Let's begin with Friday.
So I got home around 430, which was as expected.. had to get ready by 530 to meet Huong in the city by 6 (she'd sent me a text earlier telling me that I had to meet her at 530 but we compromised with the fact that I still had school and decided 6 was arrangable).. so I couldn't decide if what I was wearing was alright but went with it anyway - black Amber Calling tshirt (I was also doing promo for their show next weekend at The Hive/Brave), black waistcoat, light denim button skirt, stockings and black pumps. Rushed to the train after trying hard to look good, but deciding that at least my face and hair looked nice (aahhhhahaha ;)).. Made it to the station on time thankfully, listened to a mix of Say Anything, The Getaway Plan and Stealing O'Neal on the way to Central.
Ok, so disappointment number 1: just as the train departed Roma Street Station, Huong calls. At the point I was thinking crap she's going to be wondering where I am even though I'm two minutes away. No. She tells me she can't make it. Why? Because some chicks in the young grades at her school decided to steal her bag when she was in the year 12 graduation ceremony. Yeah, ok that's a worry, but honestly she's lived without a phone before and used her mums. Pretty cut about that and she was going on about how she was pissed off and sorry. But by now I didn't care because she could have called me at least half an hour before because I would have gladly stayed home for another 30 minutes so that I didn't have 30 minutes to kill in the city. Out of disappointment mode. Anyway, so I was in the city to see Minus Penny, Goodnight Nurse and Stealing O'Neal play an acoustic set each at The Hive (Elizabeth Street, Brisbane CBD).. I was speaking to Tenille earlier in the week and so decided to contact her and -skip me walking around Myer feeling out-of-my-league- met up with her, Emma and Melissa. Got to The Hive, had our bags checked by the manager and gave him an Amber Calling demo disc and proceded through. After paying and getting stamped, Matt K and Brenton (I think that's his name haha? The bassist from Rowan's band, Magic Room..) came up to me and we had a little chat about how I wasn't at SKSK and Halifax and then Tenille, Emma and I went to get a drink from the dining court underneath The Hilton and the had a bit of dinner.
Disappointment 2: So we were on our way back and I received a text from Lewis with merely "Hive?".. long story short he wasn't going to be there and wanted me to go back to his after. Tough chance, not with my mother already worried that I wasn't going to have any one with me on the way back home on the train. Sucked that he wasn't there because I saw him last Friday except he was un-approachable due to his girlfriend being there and the whole her telling me to get my own boyfriend previously (LOL! see a previous post from the beginning of November sometime if you feel like going into detail).. but yeah :/
Once we got back in Minus Penny's set had already started (only a couple of minutes of MP time was lost though, not to worry!). They're real good acoustic :) The lead singer looked very similar to Alex from All Time Low (babe much?).. turns out his name is actually Alex too! So that was all good, and then Goodnight Nurse played.. last time I saw them was a few months ago at The Red Room in St Lucia with The Getaway Plan. They were alright acoustic but the lead singer's voice is better suited for live shows..
Between Goodnight Nurse's set and Stealing O'Neal's, the manager went on stage to do the usual 'answer this question and get a free cd/poster/tshirt' and it was to promote the show next week featuring Amber Calling and he was like 'there's a girl who's giving free cds...' *hand goes up with 30 cds in it* and he's like 'don't answer these questions cause you'll get them too easily' and I was like ahahaha, k.. they were heaps easy, like where are AC from, where are Click on Colour from and what were Hey Carlisle previously known as.. 'nuff said.
Stealing O'Neal. Is there anything I can say about them other than they just get better and better? Seriously, I know a lot of people who read this would not have seen them or perhaps haven't even heard of them and that's a real shame. They'll be releasing an album some time next year and I couldn't be more thrilled to know that they'll finally (hopefully) get some recognition for being a fine bunch of talent!
The show was over by 9pm so it was quite an early night. I hung around for a bit, congratulating the stars of the night and handing out all of the AC demos (sorry guys, all out!) and introducing myself to Alex (that's when I found out his name) from Minus Penny and eventually leaving with concern from Tenille and heading off to Central Station with a number of free Stealing O'Neal stickers, fliers, newspapers and a quite superb Starving Kids Records sampler disc.
A very good night minus the disappointments but I can't say that there would have been as much fun had if it had gone any other way. Thank you to the people who were there and I really hope that everyone is at next Friday's show (and Saturday's show at The Brave!).
Got home, watched The Breakfast Club in the loungeroom with mum and eventually fell asleep only to wake up to the title screen and so I went to bed to be woken up at 9am by mum so we could make it to The Valley Markets at a decent time. Ok, so I love the markets on Saturdays. Went to NVY (aka The Veronica's fathers shop :)) and bought a really cute white dress with black polka dots on it for $10 and a pair of super cute boots/heals for $40 (went halves with mum!). Had a mango fruit chiller from Gloria Jeans and half a spinach and feta roll with mum. Bought a cute bow, zebra broach, stickers and a present for Caitlin for her birthday on Monday (sorry babe, might be a little later than I was hoping hehe)... I also bought a pair of raybans that have see-through glass! Finally :D!! Had a really nice time with mum, we hardly ever get the time to go out together! Went to Toowong after to see if there were any cute rings for the semi but found nothing..
So now I'm writing this and knowing that I really have to get on with writing my film assignment that was due last Friday (thankfully there was a loophole for me to be able to submit it via email this weekend) and I need to write my Defile De Mode for French and do some study for Math! Oh and would be advised to write a statement for art too..
Semi tomorrow. Not sure how it will go but Matt K gave me the advice to take it easy and just think that I'm going to have a good time. Not sure how much my hair/makeup is going to cost from Stacey but hopefully nothing too expensive hehe..
Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own. If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes? 'Cause I've spent the night dancing I'm drunk, I suppose.. If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave.
To clear something up: I'm not fucking taking drugs to the post and I don't take drugs and I never have. FUCK! Someone's been spreading that I do drugs and it's really starting to piss me off. Seriously, get a fucking life I don't do that shit.
I hate my family. I don't want to be here anymore. Can we cut a week out so school can be over? I can't handle this.
My mood has dropped in the past two hours. Really not liking this feeling. I think it's partly the idea of having to say goodbye. I know that I'll be in Adelaide in a little over a years time.. But it's so depressing to not be able to go there whenever. I don't go anywhere other than the coast if my family takes me on 'holidays'. It might be greedy or whatever, but I want to go to Adelaide these holidays. I want to go somewhere. I mean, I've never been to Sydney or Melbourne.. But I have family in Adelaide ffs! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh =_=" Plus there's stress about school and the shitty semi formal. I don't want to go anymore, same as the post. But I know I'll end up going.. I just feel as though the semi is going to be heaps lame because it's going to end up being a competition on who bought the most amazing dress and who looks the fucking best and the post is just going to be 'let's get drunk and look stupid'. I'm over people getting drunk. It's not cool to be underage and drinking.. but somehow we all end up doing it? Fuck and I know that's going to offend some people, But seriously, it's my blog-my opinion.
Oh and the smell of meat makes me gag..
On a "bright" note.. 11 days until school is over for the year. 11 days until I get to see my favourite Adelaide people.
Just got home from Toowoomba with Rob and Karen. I have seriously had the best time with them and Delamare these past two/three days whilst they've been in town. If you haven't heard Delamare before you seriously need to because they are definately going to make it big. http://www.myspace.com/delamare i am soooo tired, but i'll get you up to date tomorrow sometime!
I left school today in a state of nausea. Add some anxiety in there too. Shit yeah. Man it's so depressing. No comment on what it was about - I haven't even pinpointed it yet. I can't talk about it anyway because I always freak out and think that I'm boring whoever is supposedly 'listening'. I'm failing English even though I've been trying. I think I might fail Math even though I've been there every lesson and didn't distract myself. Give me a break, I've tried so hard this term and it's seriously getting me no where. At the moment I'm seriously lacking the creativity and academic skills needed by my school. I haven't been proper happy in ages. If you go to my school don't go omg, you ok? Cause what the fuck am I meant to say to that?
Ughhh fucking hell, mum ranted onto dad about how she had to bring me home. So he comes into my room 'what's wrong miss muffet'. I was so ready to go FUCK THE HELL OFF! But being the polite one I am, I replied 'I don't know, nothing'. I can't open up to him, wtf. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
Tomorrow, Delamare are here with Rob and Karen. Something to look forward to, thankfully. Oh and I won a double pass to Australia Zoo thanks to Rave Magazine. It's intended for this Saturday as it is Steve Irwin Day, but I don't think I'll be able to make it.. though the tickets are valid until 31/01/09.
I'm the captain on this sinking ship. Let's wash these 'secrets' down our throat.
Now you're so much older, so mature and insecure You've grown out of yourself and into something else Oh you crazy rebel tell me is this what you want to be Would it kill you to be shameless? If you say oh Just scream this in defiance from the bottom of your lungs What ever happened to the rock and roll in your eyes? Oh I know its somewhere in you underneath the veil of lies Oh why do you hide them, your rock and roll eyes?
This Friday, pretty much, will be amazing. Well, once school is finished for the day.. Basically take in these details and make sure you're there! The Princess Theatre, Wooloongabba 6.30pm - 10.30pm, no more than $15 Hey:Carlisle (Another Day Down's old band), Delamare + more I'll be there (with Bree, I think) and so will Lewis :3 Rob and Karen are coming up with Delamare! Heaps exciting! :D:D:D
I wouldn't mind being in a snow globe. I got my nose pierced today as a present from my sister. It didn't really hurt which was totally good. The lady was so pretty too! My left eye watered a little - I got the left side of my nose pierced by the way - but that's the usual. My sister got hers done also which was pretty big of her as she really isn't good with needles/pain. Can't wait to use the privilege of being sixteen for more things! I can't get over how amazing The Audition are. I currently have the biggest crush on Danny Stevens - aka the lead singer (see above).
Tried to find both my life and my love, took the time to write down all my thoughts.. found that I need to let go of you - all of my worst insecurities. 'Cause I've got the tendencies of dancing away at anything alarming and so... Can you, will you at least attempt to stay now? Just turn around I'll make you break through, never betray you and now I know that I can't go back on all those promises I shredded but can you, will you at least attempt to stay now. Wonder why, why its taking so long to step back and admit all my wrongs. Always gave everything you had to me - tell me why I continue abusing. My insecurities have taken away what I consider charming and so... Can you, will you at least attempt to stay now. Just turn around I'll make you break through, never betray you and now I know that I can't go back on all those promises I shredded but can you, will you at least attempt to stay now. Whoa, I'll never tell you why I do those things I do. Whoa, Oh please just show me some understanding, baby. Whoa, Just trust my soul that I, I'm trying, God I'm trying, oh, To let you know that I, I've tried to tell you that.
Of all days, Gabe died today. For those that don't know, Gabe was my wonderful goldfish named after Gabe Saporta from Cobra Starship. So basically he was super cool and never boring and looked ever so good sitting in a pretty bowl on my bookcase next to my books.. Long story short, I came home this afternoon to a horrible stench and a floating fish D:
My day wasn't that wonderful. Spent "Pathways" listening to The Audition and going through the Soundwave forum (found out that Jacks Mannequin, Forever The Sickest Kids and Underoath have been added to the lineup). Whilst waiting for the pages to load I was studying and making more notes for my Business/Management exam which happened to be next. It went alright, easier than I thought.. I just took my time writing it so I had 1/4 of a question to go when we had to hand in our papers. Break. Saw Elisha - I hope she's alright at the moment, she was awfully nervous when we were talking. Then it was English. Usual. Break time. Nat left around 1.25 to spend the rest of the day with her boy so I went to the library, did some printing (film task sheets, art images and fliers for amber calling/click on colour), then went to the art room for some quiet work. Film. Only girl in the class. Gav was the teacher - so we did nothing.. well actually I worked on my art the whole time. Finally 3.30 came.
I had no one at school so it was weird to be alone when walking to the busway. Caught a packed yet lonely bus to the city (I wasn't in the mood to catch the train just yet). Purchased The Audition's latest album titled 'Champion'. It's wonderful, favourite track is definately Warm Me Up. After that I checked out a shop called 'Piercing Planet' which is a lovely little silver jewellery store with stretchers and other neat jewellery pieces at the very back. The main reason I went there was to check out the prices for Saturday's piercing expedition that I am going to be sharing with my sister. Basically, for those whom don't know, I'm getting my nose pierced. Maybe getting a second hole in my ears. Turns out ears are priced from $14.95 and I was quoted $39.95 for my nose (which my sister will be paying for as that is my birthday present from her). After that I did a whole lot of walking around doing not a lot and then purchased a clear ipod case and numbing cream (which is this tiny little tube that cost $14.50!!). Finally got a little over being alone and decided to take the train home only to find Gabe floating in his bowl.
Cried for a bit only because I was freaked out. He hadn't been eating since yesterday morning so it was pretty anorexic of him.. I couldn't deal with it so I left his bowl and him on the benchtop in the kitchen. Mum finally came home. Cheered me up by having my semi-formal dress in her hand thanks very much to Cas! Her designs are so amazing. I can't wait to wear it, I just need to find shoes (I'm thinking cowboy boots or gladiator shoes - nothing heeled if possible) and a clutch of some sort. Sneak peak: Note: The dress appears orange in the photographs but really it's fire-engine red! And yes, they are skulls :3