i know i write a lot of shit in here sometimes. but i don't know what i'm feeling. i'm sick of being held down by school. i really want to be with him.. i'm so scared of losing him to some other girl in his city. he was in my dream last night. i want his band to finally come here and if my hopes go forward he'll be here in the holidays. i hope it's not too late then.. i really don't know what i would do.
i don't know what i'm doing with life. i do and don't want to go to uni. i want to travel far away but i want someone to be with me. i want to manage bands and go on tour. i want to take photographs and eventually write a book. i want to be with my friends but still define myself from them. i want to walk through a rainforest. i want to touch a zebra.
i need to get out of here. i want to fall in love with someone perfect for me. i don't want to muck around with boys who are not interesting. i want a tattoo. an anchor would be perfect right now. i want to make friends without myspace. i want confidence in both myself, the things i do and the people i know and meet. i want to sit on a train all day and end up in another state.
i want to feel alive. i want to stop crying. i want to know more people. i want more friends. i want to know the truth. i want to read books that will avoid the notion of thinking. i want to watch movies all day.
i want to finally get around to writing a zine.